Toy Story 3

I'm getting excited about seeing Toy Story 3, and it keeps reminding me of mom. She really liked the well-made kids movies.

She was excited about seeing UP when it came out on DVD, and I had planned to get it for her and watch it when she came home with us. We did watch it with her when she came home with us, but not in the way I wished.

I still need to watch Where the Wild Things Are, which came out while she was in the hospital. I told her I would wait to see until we could see it together. She told me not to wait. John bought it, but I haven't been able to watch it yet.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing Toy Story 3- it will be nice to do something we would have liked to do together.

Image from SFGate.com review.

Pulmonary Fibrosis in the News

This morning, the Today Show featured a story on a gentleman suffering from Pulmonary Fibrosis, the disease that stole mom away. While it is fantastic to have the media coverage, I would like to see the "experts" like Dr. Snyderman focus more on the lack of an FDA-approved treatment for this horrific disease, and less on creating a stereotype of its victims as veterans and people who carelessly exposed themselves to dust in their younger years.

While the causes of Pulmonary Fibrosis are unknown, and it is currently impossible to determine how a patient began to develop the characteristic lung scarring, one potential cause is radiation treatment for breast cancer, which mom received in 1994 or 1995.

This disease kills as many people as breast cancer each year, yet receives far fewer research dollars. This needs to change, as does the misdiagnosis of patients due to the relative obscurity of this disease. They thought mom had asthma, and sent her away with inhalers for a few years before they reevaluated the severity of this disease. Maybe if her diagnosis had come sooner, she could have hoped for a lung transplant like the gentleman in this video is hoping for.

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CIM and other thoughts

Two weeks ago, on May 28, I was consumed with sadness. Acknowledging that mom had now been gone for six months was very difficult. As more time passes, it becomes more evident how many things I'd like to share with mom that I can't, how many things I'd like to do with her, and how much I miss her. It is very difficult not to feel hopeless, not to be consumed by sadness.

Someone asked me if there is anything I do to celebrate mom, or that reminds me of her. I didn't know how to answer. So much of what I do reminds me of mom that I would have a very difficult time picking one thing or a few things to really celebrate her and remember her. I don't know if this is good or bad. I think that sort of clarity, and ability to choose a way to celebrate mom, will come later.

I've been thinking for the past few days about running a marathon- the California International Marathon. It would be a good way to do something productive and set a goal I can achieve this year. I think I need that sort of structure. I've also thought about using the CIM to start fund raising for the Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation, which has a (virtual) running team and sets up online fund raising pages for participants. This would help me accomplish something for myself and to help others afflicted by the awful disease that stole mom away so unfairly.

Aside from being the local marathon, I feel that the CIM would be a good pick because I have memories of mom recounting how she had gone to watch the runners on a cold December morning a few years ago. It was after I had started running, and she had asked me if I did the race (I hadn't). I think she would like it if I ran the CIM, and it would be nice to think of her watching.